220791 in A0212

well, it's late nite n early morning right now.. just now, my housemates n i celebrated my bday.. my 18th bday. it jus a simple celebration.. aiyaa.. i wish i cud celebrate my 18th bday with more joy n fun2 kind of thing la kan.. but u noe wat, i really didn't expect mu housemates will make a surprise party 4 me..
it just that, we all just knew each other less than a month.. they are all so kind though.. love em all!!
it's good to have them celebrate my bday rather than celebrate it alone.. huiss..
im happy, i am.. but kinda sad la..
dunnoe y, mayb tiz is the first bday i celebrte without my close friend and my family..
if i am at sibu right now, probably i am celebrating my bday with my family, n im sure my beloved aunt will bring me somewhere--TB, i guess.. haha!!
hmm, then my POCK havent wish me la.. aiya, it's already an hour pass midnight lar..
the O only did wish me bday wishes..
hey O, where's my present dude!!
post it using POST LAjU arr.
must laju arr..
owh..
ya, i havent finish my homework, i was on my 'journey' doing my homework just now, then my housemates, kana n shalini came and brought cake and they sang that song... haiyaa.. malu la me diaorang done like that.. haha
haiyayaii.. really miss my PoCK team la when they done such thing..
hey POCK, y dun u all come here n make a surprise party 4 me!! haiyaa la u all.. haha
nama ja POCK.. huiss.. kasian me laa..
ok la.. panjang dah..
i want to cntinue doing my phys hmworkk.. love jackie chan.. hihihi..
--got a bad marks on my phys quiz lar--
al of my housemates sleep oredi.. hihi..
kasian them..
last but not least, thx 4 all who had wished me the bday wishes..
espeacially to all of my housematess. nite ya...

he SAID, she SAID

she can't read it
she's trying to find the way out
but she stil trapped inside

he said,
"i thought you can change the way i am--egois,proud.
unfortunately, you don't.
all people are the same.
you just don't get it.
so, just for--get it."

she said,
"i want you."
"i want you to prove that you are different from the other."


he said,
"take me away, just you and me."--i like this sentence. aww...-

she's speechless when he said,
"you talk nonsense."

she keeps thinking, what should she do?
guess, she is not good in this stuff
guess, this is the reason why the other he left her
she keeps thinking, what she should do?

0941hours
1st May 2009

..readers' corner..
this is the first time i create a post in the morning.
at first it feels odd. people move everywhere, while i'm sitting here,
in front of my notebook, typing these.. huhu!
anyway, about this post, i pity that girl. kasian ba..
she asked him what she should do, he didn't answer.
what if she goes away and find a new 'he'. aisey!
kan melepas that he--refers to person i wrote here, in this post
or maybe a new 'he' will finds her, or take her away.. aisey!--i hope so!! xp
about the sentence, "take me away, just you and me",
i like this sentence! huhu! it's the same as rainie yang's song lyric--tai wo chao which means take me away.
and avril lavigne's song too! haha!

gawai kitai!!

im now in CC at Mukah..
ya3..
ba Mukah meh ku tok..
Nda sabar ku ka pulai k Sibu..
ka rerigau sebelah pasar diak..
ngirup ai teh C peng, Green Tea ngau kekaban..
makai bakso n rojak ba kdai CT NURALIJAA ba seberai esplanade diak..
adehh.. baru jak ari 5 ari nyak aku sampai OYA..

ya3..
i LOVE OYA meh,
tapi munyi tai ajar cikgu aku,
hujan emas di menua orang, hujan batu ba menua kediri, nyamai gik gak menua kediri..

tapi kan, diatu dah ka masuk pertengah bulan 5,
nda lama dak gak gawai..
dah la cuti laun mat start--baka ke aku agik skulaa
tapi bena ba, ti cuti laun setat laun gak kami nurun k kampung
laun gak la kami pulai mudik k sibu
nda uluh aku ngabang2 ngau bala kehakk sibu.. haha--yg oenting aku yeL ukai kehakk..

ndai asai ka nyambut gawai..
ti maya mit suba, gawai nyak maksud ia , bc mayuh pekit maya ba rumah panjai..
mda uhang tuai ngansar k kaki ba ruai..
mda uhang tuai ngirup2, bertaban lari ba ruai..
diatu, things are not the same..
ndai gik berpekit..
ndai rancak uhang tuai ngansar k kaki..
sejak peristiwa nyakk....-adalah, sedih jak ka mention..

dah la mimit gik urang pulai kampung..
ti mayuh pun ukai ku ngelala urang.. haha
orang sibu la kununn--ukai urang ngungun.. haha

nda sabar ka ke sibu..
ka begulai ngau bala kaban belayan
x lama nda bala kaban belayan nurun sekula ba menua bukai gak..
aku tok mpai nemu kini penuju..
ngarap ke aku bulih ba kuching--maktab
ti nda, sigik terengkah ba pulau pinang meh ku--mak i...
ma meh perintah ngai nganjung ku jauh gik, ke menua thailang karr.. alang2!!
kitai ka semak, diberi ia ngejauh2nyak!!
gaga ku ba menua urang ko ya!
ne..
malu ya..
nda mu malu..
sedey ehh..
ngarap k ulih mai diri maya ba menua urang..
ngarap k aku bulih ba maktab meh..
barang sapa k maca tai ditaip ku tok, ang nda besampi k aku bulih maktab..
anang gak kitak besampi ngambik ku nda bulih..
igak gak nda kasih k aku.. hahahaah!!
nyak jak meh sesi iban 'remix' tok.. haha
tusah anak iban nda fluent in iban.. ka fluent in english jak..
bm pun kucar kacir.. haha
semua language ku kucar kacir magang..
sigik nda minat sastera ari suba ku..
ka ya sastera iban, eng, bm, cina..
semua i don't like.. haha
sebedau aku ka ngabis k lica ku k nda nemu abis tok,
aku ka meri besai terima kasih ngagai kitak k nda mu lelak maca tai ditulis aku..
haha!
love,
-yeL.09-

LosT n founD

haha!
cant help laughing n thinking of the things we did to my bf-bezfren- on the 6th may. haha.
i was too happy that all of the stuffs that haunt me seems to fade away..
dunno..
kali, taken by the laughter, or flow with the air 'in' LAKEPERMAI laz day. haha.
since that day, i found myself back!
i thought all this while i was pretending to be happy, though i was broken--to pieces.
on that 6th May--the best day i had ever went through this year, i found myself didn't pretending to be happy, silly, karezi..
i was n am HAPPY, SILLY, CRAZIE!

yah!! im back..
ceh,-kini la aku ngelama tok- haha!
and i love my p.o.c.k. team!! haha
a lot!!
not a parking lot yah!

then i realized that finding a parking lot for my 'car' is not that important.
it's okay to park my car everywhere..
it's okay to ignore the 'red color' flashing from that tall black n yellow thing.
it's okay to go through that double line on the road..
it's okay to not to stick that big letter on the car's screen--big P letter
after all, who would care?
it's me who breaking the rules,
it's me who feels the excitement..
and..
it's me who will face the music!

so....
i've decided not to be too careful
too careful will hurt me so mush
cause i laf me sow mush
let the glass breaks..
let the water splashes..
let the building corrupts..
let it be..
let me be..
i found myself back!

the one who will laugh when i like to
the one who never afraid to hurt others--literally
the one who cry when i feel pain, eventhough thousand of people watching me--no more numbness inside me..
no more..

SWEET SWEETS

*there are some meaning or story behind this post.
frens, it's not about the moon--u noe, "moon"
or should i say it "month"
in bm moon n month are the same right..
dude, im not creating this blog just to write about the moon.
this is a story of things that had happened to me recently..
try to figure out the meaning..
hihi! don't forget to leave ur opinions*
love,
-yeL.09-

that day,
when the sweets were falling from the sky,
they kept fell
too many like a rainy day
didn't stop..

after a while,
the ground was full with the sweets..
gosh! I'm doom
too much sweets are not good for health
especially, teeth!

my room are full with those sweets
they won't stop falling
i almost drown
try to gasp for air
but it's hard
too hard to breathe--s.o.s.

i've regret wished for this 'sweet-sweets'
i've made my mind
i have to let go
i need some space to breathe
i must not being selfish

so i opened the door
took a bag of plastic bags
i packed the sweet-sweets in each plastic bags
but i left some for myself
though i prefer chocolate than sweets

i drove myself to the nearest playground
using my car--white in colour
the sweets were distributed among the children
they are so happy
each one has one plastic bag of sweets

here in my room again
i feel free
free to move
free to breathe
no more gasping for air

hope the kids are happy
hope the sweets won't harm the kids
hope the sky won't rain
hope the sweets won't fall too many in a same time
hope you will happy to be back together with her

16th APRIL 2009
12:12AM
yeL.09

F.R.A.G.I.L.E.

another glass broken
i just don't get it, it had written clearly--FRAGILE--
why don't he handled it with care..
he said, it's too heavy, he can't stand it.
he prefers things made in plastic now..
it's lighter than glass. it can't be broke easily,
cheaper, affordable by everyone..
did u know that once the glass is broken,
it will forever broken..

and now u leave all the pieces for me..
hands bleed, blood flows when i'm trying to pick up the pieces..
it's useless, u didn't notice it.
my hands, not yours,
it's me who feel the pain, not u..
plenty of reasonable excuses for u not to care..
hey, it's u who broke the glass..
it's u who had the glass..
if u didn't want to take the responsibility, why did u use the glass..
why don't u let the glass on the safe place--in the cupboard,perhaps
by that, the glass won't break..
and it can be used by other who will handle it with care..

but then, I've realize that u will never care..
u not even there!
u continue leaving the kitchen and take the plastics cup with you..
u said, breaking the glass is not a big matter,
u said, it was the glass itself too slippery that it fell from your hands..

I've cried, MOURNED for the broken glass..
after a moment, im tired of crying and doing nothing..
if i let the broken glass left on the floor,
it may hurt others--i thought..
so, i take a pair of gloves and pick up the pieces..
i realize, NOTHING'S BLEED, NO BLOOD, NO PAIN..
i let u take the plastic cup with u..
i don't even mind bout the broken glass anymore..
but i can't lie that, the cupboard is empty without the glass..
I've made my mind, I'll find another glass, maybe better than the broken glass..
so it can't be easily broken by the other 'he'..


13RD APRIL 2009
11:46PM

No More

yesterday,
i thought of you
O ur smile, O ur voice..
it's been a time i didn't see ur face
i've sent a text to u,
hoping u'll reply it..

my phone rang, and ur picture appeared on
the screen
click it,read it,crying..

it's written
" i love her, not u anymore.
i won't leave her, it's just not me..
let us be friends, just a close friends..
cause i love her"

yesterday,
i laid on my bed,
thunder, raining outside
recalled things that we've been through
a voice in my head asking..
will u love me again?
do u remember the memories we had together?
so i take my phone
white, our favourite..

my phone rang, ur picture appeared on
the screen
click it, read it, crying..
it's written..
"no, no, no..
u can keep those for ur memories,
or just throw it away
far from you..
i won't coming back to you"

crying..dying..
laughing...
when i realized, nothing broken..
i deleted the message and get some sleep

today,
when i woke up, i see a shiny sun,
sweets are falling from the sky..
sweets are falling from the sky
no rain anymore..

13april2009
11:55pm